- us getting snowed out from the retreat venue in March (it’s a separate story! ), and

- interested fellow NVC practitioners and otherwise interested people coming together to start a practice group locally, which I’ve been happy to support. (I’m unsure whether you’d want to be named – and thanks to everyone who’s been a part of organising it).

So, I was asked about different options/ different things that people usually do at NVC practice groups. If you’ve been wondering about this too, please read on .

Here are a few resources (out of many) that I have used in the years of supporting NVC Practice Groups:

- obviously, the workbook by Lucy Leu (we have used it at the both previous NVC Practice Groups locally)

- this list of practice groups exercises http://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Practice_group_exercises

- Holley Humphrey’s workbook ‘Practice, Practice, Practice’ (I have a copy and I have appreciated different exercises there) http://www.empathymagic.com/products/

And simply because I believe that these radio programmes by Miki Kashtan illustrate different uses of NVC itself beautifully, here’s a collection of podcasts of these http://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Media .

If you want more suggestions, one option is to ask for others’ ideas at one of the many NVC Facebook groups, Yahoo groups, and other Internet places.

Hope this helps !

P.S. I’m linking to those resources in the spirit of contributing – and if one of the links is yours and for some reason you are not happy to see it here, please do get in touch!

I’m so much looking forward the the upcoming retreat – seems like it’d be very soon ! We do believe that this retreat is a brilliant opportunity to learn NVC whilst keeping your children close and learn it at a more relaxed pace, flexed to suit your needs. This also includes an option for a slot with a facilitator for one-to-one work or for NVC work with couples, amongst other possibilities.

If you want to join us to have fun, to enjoy the beauty nature and tranquility of the setting, to connect with others who may share the same values, to sample Ellen’s yummy food and to learn NVC, we have the last few spaces available, more information is below.

We have very limited residential spaces for adults without kids available (overnight accommodation in a shared space with other adults without children).

We also have last few ‘day ticket’ spaces for adults with children. If you are local, it may appeal to you to stay at home and commute to the retreat every day (very roughly, the day would last between 10am and 6pm, with lunch and breaks throughout). As you’d be sleeping ‘off-site’, with lunch included (please inquire when booking about the possibility to join in with the evening meal), we offer a discount of £40 off the retreat fees for both adults and the children for the ‘day ticket’ option. That would bring the retreat fees on a ‘day ticket’ to an absolute bargain of £155 (vs £195 incl. accommodation) for adults and £25 (vs £65 incl. accommodation) for 1-16 year olds.

If you are interested or want to book, please contact Olga at hearttoheartconnection@gmail.com or Clare at clarepalmer@btinternet.com or 07954 385847.

We are very much looking forward to the retreat, and to seeing everyone there !

I remember the mothers who I have met through my life – and am feeling touched and inspired by the love and care that I have experienced around you .

“The thought “mother” cannot be separated from that of “love”. Love is sweet, tender, and delicious. Without love, a child cannot flower, an adult cannot mature. Without love, we weaken, wither.” (Thich Nhat Hanh, A Rose for Your Pocket : An Appreciation of Motherhood).

I was asked about my favourite resources that give you an idea of ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ of Nonviolent Communication (NVC, Compassionate Communication) for parents, children and families. Here are a few that I really enjoy, for the reasons of clarity, simplicity and real-life examples being part of some of them.

I want to say that in my experience, the written materials/videos do help to further one’s understanding of NVC/learning of NVC AND also, if you’re finding implementing those simple-sounding principles into your life tricky, I’d encourage you to find ways to learn it in a one-to-one or group setting with a support from experienced NVC practitioner/facilitator. In my experience (and with what I observe in other people’s learning NVC), reading books, watching videos, listening to podcasts really helped up to a point, and based on that, practicing NVC, getting support, feedback and guidance on that during a course or practice group or empathy exchange was where the transformation of my habitual patterns really happened! In short, what I’m saying that these links and resources are more ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ of NVC, rather than ‘how-tos’ !

Articles

If you enjoy reading, I really love these articles by Inbal Kashtan at Natural Child Project. They both give general idea of NVC and parenting AND also offer some examples, and further resources to explore. I feel deep appreciation and gratitude thinking of Inbal as I have benefited a LOT from Partnership Parenting Peer Leadership Programme at Bay NVC designed (and led for the first years) by Inbal. And also I think she is one of the founders of (and definitely first active posters on) NVC Parenting Yahoo Group, which has provided support for so many people. So, here are the articles – all by Inbal Kashtan…

Grabbing Our Way to Peace: Responding to Tugs of War and Other Battles of Daily Life

Meeting Long-Term Needs: Parenting with Empathy, Expression, and Self-Empathy

Compassionate Connection Attachment Parenting and Nonviolent Communication

Down the Slide, or Up the Anger Escalator?

Videos

If you prefer videos, here are a few…

I LOVE this video, as it features the interview with Yannai Kashtan, Inbal Kashtan’s son, and his telling how it has been for him to be parented with NVC. I remember feeling warm and touched watching it and hearing his recollections and inspired once again to keep walking this NVC path with my children .  Conflict Hotline – June ’11 (2 of 4), Parenting II .

If you like this one, I’d suggest checking out other Bay NVC/Miki Kashtan’s videos on parenting as they also feature roleplays/specific examples that many find helpful.

Below are a few short talks by Victoria Kindle and Sura Hart of Kindle-Hart Communication/No Fault Zone . Their ‘Respectful Parents Respectful Kids’ is probably the most frequently borrowed book in my parenting/NVC books lending library.

My special reason for loving this book is the pictorial Feelings and Needs cards that are at the back of the book helped me and my older daughter (from her 3-4 years’ old onwards) to figure out so many tricky situations, debrief and reconnect, and work out some win-win solutions. I have a vivid memory of a car journey that turned out to be seven hours, and with everyone in the car feeling extremely miserable and upset, and M crying and not talking to me. Then when we arrived home, the cards were one of the first things that we have reached for, and after asking my daughter if she wanted to look at the ‘wishes and needs’, I used them to guess her needs. At some point, after she felt heard, she relaxed and sighed a large sigh of relief and we reached out to hug each other.  After that, the cards have been with us on many trips and outings, to help us connect and reconnect .

So here are a few videos:

Parenting Tip to Learn Together as You Go

Key to Understanding Children’s Behavior – Universal Needs!

The Benefits of ‘A Language of Respect’ for Parents & Children

Create Safety, Trust and Belonging at Home for Children to Thrive

Why it is Important to Put Parents’ Needs First…

I hope some of this helps. And if you decide that you’d like to explore NVC further, do check out all-ages retreats and courses that I offer. Or get in touch with me at hearttoheartconnection @gmail.com (delete spaces) to bring a course to an area close to you.

P.S. I hope that if you are the author of the above, you are happy with me linking to your work – and if you are not happy, would you be willing to get in touch with me at hearttoheartconnection @ gmail.com (please delete spaces) ?

P.P.S. The books photo has some books in it from my lending library, visiting my Compassionate Communication Course in Dublin, Howth in June 2012 (stay tuned for this lost blogpost to come back on !). The photo of the Feelings/Needs cards has a picture of smaller deck of black-and-white pictorial cards in the middle… the yellow and red cards with words are a full deck of ‘word’ cards (not included in the book – got them from No-Fault Zone website).

This is a quick one to say that we had a server failure and lost website content since May 2012. If you are after something that was there and you can’t find, please do get in touch with hearttoheartconnection @ gmail.com

And thank you for bearing with us whilst we are restoring the content .

We focused on NVC with young children (under five years old) in this group. I remember that the importance of self-connection for us as parents, and tools that NVC offers to achieve this, has come up a lot during this course. I also remember, how working with ‘No’ with young children and use of force and sharing power in NVC has generated a lot of interest, discussion, questions, and provided and lot of food for thought and supported practice in the group.

We have used different methods for practicing listening from our hearts and sharing from our hearts, including crayons, toys and storytelling.

If you missed this course and curious about when another course is happening, check this page out for a list of courses and talks in Ireland and the UK.

Special thanks to Olwen for coordinating this talk and finding the space that worked so well for it .

Once everyone practiced the ‘building blocks’ of NVC using some practical examples, we worked on a variety of real-life parenting situations, in a variety of formats. I feel humbled remembering the level of trust and openness in the group – and trust in me as a facilitator. A variety of ages of children that the group participants had meant that there was a variety of situations, and it was possible to see the versatility of NVC as a method and possibilities of using it with different age groups (inculding adults !), under different circumstances.

Special thanks to Claire and Olwen for all their help and support in logistics and practicalities: it  really supported me and  contributed to much ease in me during this weekend. I remember pretty much everyone in the group commenting how much they enjoyed the teas and the snacks (tasty, nutritious and beautiful – I still remember these raw chocolate truffles – thank you so much Olwen!). We also really appreciated the venue we had – the space, lightness and airiness (thank you so much Deidre and Sinead at Devon Holistic Centre).

If you missed this course and are curious about when another course is happening, check this page out for a list of courses and talks in Ireland and the UK. We are planning a course in Cork, Ireland on 15-16 September 2012.

Thank you so much Jennie for organising the fair and inviting me to offer this presentation, and thank you everyone who attended.

If you are interested in this topic and missed this talk, there is a shorter 30-minute talk with the same theme at York ‘Attached’ Fair on 8 July, 1.45-2.15pm.

If you missed this course and are curious about when another course is happening, check this page out for a list of courses and talks in Ireland and the UK.